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Thursday, May 24, 2012

Two Things I Dislike

O ye acid reflux of the soul! That which makes me spew forth rotten words like foamy ocean spray on a cliff-side. Encumbrances to my well-being and mental fortitude, hindrances to my happiness and rank perpetrators of peace; you have replaced the roaches and mosquitoes of Louisiana! Name yourselves burdensome beasts that wander the sky and pavement, spying, conniving, giving, taking , squawking and hassling. Step forth beady-eyed seagull and quick-handed flyer hander outer!

First the seagull, he that roams the sky as a happy partner of the ocean, disgracefully countering the soothing sound of its waves with a blood curdling eruption of senseless chaos. SQUAWK! I despise your beady eyes and sharp, food stealing beaks! Beach rats with wings, I can think of few more horrible things!

Then there is the flyer-hander-outer person, you that averts your eyes while probing into my personal space with your capitalist waste. I do not want your advertisements, and neither does anyone else that accepts your offerings without a second thought, like the trained robots that we sometimes are. I do not blame you, though, for I realize that it is not your fault, but rather the institution that you and I are both a part of, one that squeals for extra profit by littering the earth with its desperate attempts to attract the extra customer. How many of this papers must be passed from hand to hand to trash can with the rapid efficiency of a well-oiled machine before we do away with that horrid routine! Never! Sadly, it will never happen. If only we could train the seagulls...

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