And while it's not always at capacity, one can't help but notice how completely unnatural and disturbing it is to be packed shoulder to shoulder in a box of steel that's speeding underground.
The subway is the single largest contributor to my anxious existence in NYC. I constantly find myself rushing as soon as I hit the stairs of the subway because I'm worried that I might miss a train and have to wait underground listening to music or staring into space for 8-10 minutes until the next train arrives.
And then there's the atmosphere on the train. It's overwhelming--and sweaty. It makes you question humanity. At least that's what it does for me. Why? Because there's something eerie about being in such close proximity with people but totally ignoring them. It's as if everyone is trying to deny the existence of everyone around them while simultaneously sneaking peeks at what their neighbor is doing. If you make accidental eye contact with someone then you just keep your head moving so that it seems like it was an accident. Put your headphones in if you don't like being with your own thoughts, or stare at your phone connecting dots to earn points, or read or try to sleep. Those are your options. Just whatever you do, don't make friendly conversation with the people around you. Remember: they don't exist, and only your concerns and projects and deadlines and anxiety matter. It's too much to ask that you learn something about the stranger beside you. It's a chore to hold a conversation and time is much better utilized crushing candy. Now I sound like one of the ads I see everyday.
I'm not trying to sound like the typical "anti-cellphone we're too connected but disconnected and we don't-know-how-to-communicate-anymore" person, but that's how it is, and I'm just like everyone else in this respect. This bothers me to no end. "So many people I don't want to talk to anyone," is usually what I think on the ride home after a day spent being jostled on the stairs and sidewalk while rushing to get to a job or to meet a friend. Let's face it: commuting is a chore and it quickly becomes every man for himself. But, luckily, there's an easy solution:
Ahhhhh! All things considered, though, the subway can be quite interesting. On any given ride you can see a vast array of things good and bad. You've got the lawyer type with an air of self-importance seaping from his overcoat and short-cropped hair, your dysfunctional mother that is disdainfully talking to her children like they're her friends, telling them things that they don't need to know like why their father isn't around, and the way too drunk guy incoherently speaking to himself and everyone at the same time while everyone does their best not to become the accidental focus of his attention. Then there are the beggars announcing their misfortune for the whole train to hear, and the entrepreneurial candy sellers, and the always entertaining dancers who thrust their show at you whether you want it or not. SO many groups of teenagers trying to earn a buck by impressing you with their hat-flipping skills. Props for trying, though.
If only we'd learn to put ourselves out there a little more like them, and not be so scared to say hello to the person next to us. I believe that at the end of the day most people like a casual and sometimes enriching conversation. And if they're not in the mood, then no harm no foul, you don't have to be embarrassed sitting next to them for the rest of the ride. At least you tried, and often times trying makes all the difference.
I'm not sure why I'm so obsessed with people dropping their barriers. Everyone is entitled to their privacy, it's just that part of me thinks that the fear of talking to the stranger next to you is part of the larger problem of disconnection and alienation that we are experiencing as a society, and this will only continue to get worse.
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